Am I a boob, or what?

January 22, 2013

We’re at the supper table with tacos and raw carrots and mom is not around and Jon looks at Liz and asks me if it’s possible for her to have a baby.

‘No,’ I said.

This was my mistake. I should have just asked for more food or let out a good belch before pushing off for the bathroom.

Instead, this question of Liz’s pregnancy, or lack of, somehow led to the discussion on the difference between boobs and breasts.

Jon felt assured when I told him that, no, men could not have boobs. But then, sometime after dramatizing in full stereo what it’s like to actually deliver a child, Liz corrected me.

She suggested that breasts were what babies like to suck on, while boobs are simply around during those non-baby times. So, in theory, men, at least old or fat men, could have boobs.

Hannah sat right across from me. She looked right at me. ‘See how little you know?’ she said.


This is what happens at the supper table when my wife isn’t around.

It’s one more reason why kids need both a mom and a dad.

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January 22, 2013 • Posted in
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