Be a man – blow up a bridge

December 4, 2012

Men like to blow up bridges. This inclination began in utero.

It was there where every male, by some miracle and with careful planning, managed to blow up the bridge that connects one side of his brain to the other.

This bridge, known as the hippocampus, is left intact in women’s brains because when they’re in utero they’re more interested in brushing their growing hair in front of the mirror.

And so women have, on average, 900 per cent more neurons in certain brain centres for things like language and hearing and remembering significant emotional events like the day their husbands said, wasn’t it our anniversary last week?

I was just reminded of this when I said something stupid to my children at the breakfast table.

It’s too stupid to repeat. Okay, well, maybe it had something to do with Hitler and a chocolate bar. The kids looked at me like they didn’t know how I got into their house.

Self-edit, I keep telling myself.

But, also, some of us men can – maybe on, say, the third Sunday of each month – look out there at the wreckage and see what we might be able to put back together.

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December 4, 2012 • Posted in
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