How to get a hot wife with one easy song

February 13, 2013

People sometimes ask me, ‘Hey Daily Dad. How did you get such a hot wife?’

I say, ‘I sang her a song about a cow. She seemed to like that. Nothing has been the same since.’

The story is as follows:

My Bride – she was only My Date at the time – invited me to a wedding. At the reception, I asked the MC if I could say a few words from the front. I knew both the groom and the bride. Sort of.

So, from the podium, I proceeded to tell everyone – there were a couple of hundred guests there – a fabricated story about how The Groom had previoiusly come to me to ask me how to win The Bride’s heart.

I said, ‘Well, do this and this and this.’

My Date, sitting just a few feet away, listened along with everyone else. Then I explained that the very last thing I told The Groom was this. ‘Sing her a song. A love song. This love song.’

Then I sang what is affectionately known as the Moo-Moo song. This, I somehow remembered from an old HP Sauce commercial where a flat cut-out of a cow sings about his true love for that particular steak sauce.

It seemed to make sense at the moment. Both The Groom and The Bride had farming backgrounds. So, I just ploughed into it, so to speak … and in front of everyone sang … ‘Can you imagine … How much I love you? … Moo-moo-moo-moo … moo-moo-moo-moo.’

Now I don’t claim to be much of an entertainer. And I didn’t know what would come out of my mouth next. But, you know, it was the only way to impress My Date.

Several people later commented how much they enjoyed it all, the big fish tale. My Date also seemed genuinely impressed, as much as anyone listening to a cow song can be.

Then a friend of hers gave me a five-star reference, a good word. That was good for some more dates. And eventually My Date became My Bride. All, really, because of The Moo-Moo Song.

The other thing to share is this. At the end of the evening, The Groom came up to me and pulled me aside and said, ‘You know, I remember we had a conversation. I just remember it a bit different.’

‘Dude!’ I said. ‘There was no conversation!’

Tomorrow, Part II – The 12th rose and the Valentine’s Day engagement

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February 13, 2013 • Posted in
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