Humour and Satire

I’ve always liked older women. When I was in Grade 2, Queen Elizabeth was … well … quite something, up there on the classroom wall at Maple Crest School, looking down at me with that hot outfit and crown and all. Those were fine days. The only woman who could compete with the young queen was […]

Hannah’s adoption continues to make the news, this time in Uganda’s national  daily, the New Vision. Faithful Reader knows all about the good news of the recent adoption approval we received from the Ugandan court. This, after we fostered Hannah for three years, and then after a further wait of more than 500 days. That’s […]

The thing about winning Gold in an Olympic event over and over and over and (YAWN) over is that you might start to assume that it’s your birthright, which, I suppose, this one, uh, kid, with the red shirt thinks. You forget all the work involved and your belly gets flabby and you won’t want to even walk the dog […]

Here’s the deal. Africa isn’t really the biggest place on the hockey map. I know you find this hard to imagine. But I’m working on it all. In fact, I see no reason why Uganda can’t have an Olympic hockey team for the 2018 Games, and if you read the Hamilton Spectator (which, if you […]

The latest in the ongoing affairs of the heart at my children’s school is that a boy who will remain nameless, one who has the hots for my daughter – and apparently there are several of these boys – asked Liz to be his date at the class Valentine’s Dance. This is being held for the kids at the end of […]

My Bride is out of country – in Ghana – for a few days for some Save the Mothers work which means I’m talking to The Cat again, not to mention statues, flowers, my dinner plate and anything else with a listening ear. But The Cat. God help The Cat. The Cat, some of you […]

Me: “Good morning Captain Underpants!” Kid 1: “Morning Dad.” Kiss. ++ Me: “Hey Little Lady!” Kid 2: “Hi Dad.” Neck snuggle. ++ Me: “Good morning Pretty Girl!” Kid 3: “Uhhh.” Kiss (attempt). ++ Me: “Babe, you’re such a better surgeon that I am. Any way you could fix my watch band with some Crazy Glue?” […]

Every good parent needs to scream at their kids regularly – I recommend five times a kid before lunch – and so I’ve given my son Jon a good tongue-lashing over what he brought on all of Toronto and Hamilton and beyond this last little while. Jon is the member of our family who wished […]

When you go through a red light and get stopped for it in a foreign country, you should always pretend that in your home country red means ‘Go!’ Then gesture wildly with your hands and speak jibberish in your native language. Unless your native tongue is English and you’re in Uganda, where pretty well everyone, […]

So, it’s Day 15 of Single Daddin It’ and we’re at the dinner table, that place of ever-illuminating discussion, and Jon blurts out, ‘Hey Dad, if you got shot, would you rather be shot in the mouth or in the eye?’ I looked up from my Kraft Dinner and hotdogs. I mean, really, has it […]

It’s somewhere around Day 54,386 of Single Daddin’ It, the highlight of my year when it’s just me and the kids. Is it November still? I think it snowed yesterday. Pretty sure about that. Somewhat sure. Okay maybe it rained. I think Jean called yesterday too. She’s my wife. My Bride. We started dating when you […]

It’s officially Day 1 of being the Poor Lonely Single Dad – Jean is back in Canada for, gulp, 18 days – and we’ve slept in by 45 minutes and The New Young Dog goes without his morning walk but we still manage to scramble and jump in the truck and get on the bumpy dirt road […]

So My Bride and I were on a date at the movies in Kampala and we were the only ones there, two shadows in a sea of empty seats, and not thinking anything of it because this is not uncommon. Not that movies are that bad here – although this one was and we ended […]

I’ve been looking through the Parenting Manuel they gave when my oldest was born but I don’t see anything on what to do when she gets five, yes FIVE, boys professing their love for her. Liz is 10. ‘Daddy, daddy!’ is how it all started one day after school. ‘You’ll never guess what happened!’ Liz […]

I’m way too sexy for my underwear. Which is why I wear a Speedo into the pool. I expect the same from our new dog. We picked him up yesterday. His name is Zack, which, if you’re a thief, is short for Zack Attack. His birthday, as we’ve discovered, is on My Bride’s and my […]